faintlymasculine:

Turtleneck, sexy?

American Apparel turtleneck| Vintage high-waisted wool trousers 

While deliberately attempting to channel my inner Audrey Hepburn I discovered, or was made to realize what seams to be perhaps a un-sexy choice of fashion, yes turtlenecks.

I naively sought out a black turtleneck to match these high waisted black wool trousers I discovered in a recent vintage escapade. Having only 15 minutes till my work break was over I ran to American Apparel. I read the neck stays more fitted on their turtlenecks, an issue I had with my j.crew one and, yes rewind….. There was a lot of thought and research put into a good simple black turtleneck which is what makes this whole thing humorous for me. While trying it on without fail this sucker is the hardest thing to get off an on yet, all seamed worth it for the fact that the neck stays where I need it, we must compromise some times for fashion ya know? 

So, enough rambling about necks and fitting, and back to how incredibly impossible it is to get it on. So impossible I in fact frizzed up my hair and smudged my eye brows off when putting this thing on and, you guys know how I feel about my pencils brows! 

I obviously still purchase the turtleneck despite the technical difficulties, but some how realized on a more random I can’t help my imagination note, what if you were lets see how I will put this subtly….having a “passionate” moment, and as he begins to remove your turtleneck “poof” goes your eyebrows, nice hair, good makeup amongst the shear difficulty just removing the dam thing..how lets say un-sexy you know?

So as I returned to work and ran off my little adventure to a lovely and honest coworker of mine she so gracefully put it…

“wait, don’t get ahead of yourself there, your not even getting laid with that thing on.”

“what?” I replied.

“no guy is going to “what ever you feel comfortable adding here” a girl wearing a turtle neck”- she said.

Now perhaps it is my own naive sense of just being 19 and not really been around the block that much that I just did not realize this. Asking several other options from manny other females this is a known fact. Now don’t get me wrong I never thought a turtle neck was the sexiest article of clothing a women could use to her advantage but, never really paid attention to the technical difficulties they came with. 

I mean I felt good in mine you know, felt confident and thought I looked good if you will, hey Marylyn Monroe was the sex symbol of her time and she wore one, would she be rejected in bed if she wore one????

Truth is I think the issue is again the technical difficulty. Now I don’t think an “attractive” gal could look bad if she pulled one off, but it is about that moment of awkwardness when removing this article of clothing that could ruin the heat of things ya know? There for branding them “un-sexy”.

Now is this in fact a true theory or made up in the minds of women always complicating or requiring ourselves to be more self conscious or would men find this true as well. 

I asked a few male friends this, and what I kept getting is something along the lines of, 

“hey if I’m attracted to this girl, and I’m about to get what I want I will tear off whatever to get it”

Yes aside from the crudeness of some men, as women we over complicate things. Yes, older women out there and more experienced women out there call me young but, maybe perhaps my naivety is what keeps my concepts about clothing on the same simple level that some men are on.

All un-sexyness aside I suppose I always looked at clothing and being sexy in them meant just looking good in what you wear and feeling that as well? If not oh well this will be one of my “man repeller” moments. Think cloths first men not at all, never take anything to seriously, never take yourself to seriously, never try to hard and, I always appreciate how not in tuned I have always been with the way others think.